I (MIGHT) HAVE CONJUNCTIVITIS IN MY LEFT EYE

I might have conjunctivitis in my left eye. I woke up this morning and it was so swollen. It would only open halfway. It’s not red and crusty but I don’t know how conjunctivitis develops? Like is this pre-conjunctivitis? I took a shower and thoroughly rinsed my eye from all angles and it feels better but it’s definitely still droopy. I’m a little conflicted because it could be fun to have conjunctivitis in my left eye so I could recreate Justin Bieber’s conjunctivitis Instagram moment. And it only takes a few days of antibiotics to cure so that’s fine. But mostly I don’t want to have conjunctivitis. I just started work so it would be inconvenient timing. And I have no idea how to see a doctor in this country. They don’t have urgent care clinics here like we do in America, so I’d have to go full emergency room or make an appointment with a general practitioner. I’m paying for an Australian health insurance plan but of course I didn’t read how it actually works. I didn’t think I’d have to use it until my 6-month supply of birth control ran out. I never got conjunctivitis in America. I’m not saying if you come to Australia you’ll definitely get conjunctivitis, but I’m not not saying that either. Conjunctivitis is pink eye, by the way. But Justin Bieber effectively cancelled pink eye when he called it conjunctivitis in 2017. If you aren’t familiar with Justin Bieber’s run-in with conjunctivitis, please click here. I promise it’s worth your time. It’s maybe one of my favorite things to happen in the entire 21st century so far. 

Okay I promise I’m done saying conjunctivitis in this post. That was a lot and I’m a little sorry about it but mostly not sorry because you’re not living this conjunctivitis nightmare. Fuck okay now I’m done. Conjunctivitis? I don’t know her. 

I realized in my last post I totally forgot to talk about Thanksgiving. It was my first Thanksgiving away from home but it didn’t even feel like Thanksgiving because, and I don’t know if you guys know this, Australians don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. (Although they do celebrate Black Friday? Capitalism really is that bitch.) Also, my sister is in London for grad school so it’s not like I was missing out on some wholesome family feasting. A group of American girls were staying in my hostel room for that week, though. So we all went for a cute dinner down by Darling Harbour and then we went out to Ivy. For those of you not familiar, Ivy is this iconic multi-level club where all the trashy internationals go in Sydney. There’s a rooftop pool you’ve probably seen on Instagram. It’s $10 entry on Thursdays. If there’s one thing I love more than a multi-level club, it’s a bargain. 

I’m at my third hostel in three weeks. This one is even cheaper, but it has outlets by the beds so I really can’t complain. The receptionist when I checked in was so cute. She was French and would kind of sing random words. She gave me a tour of the property and told me which showers are the best. And then she gave me a hug? I can’t tell if I look exceptionally miserable or if she hugs everyone. Either way it was appreciated. It’s a less corporate vibe than the other two hostels. I spent $200 for the week. The first hostel I stayed in was around $300 a week. Most flats/roomshares I’m looking at are also closer to $300 a week. Locals will tell you you can find a better deal, but backpackers will tell you that’s par for the course. I booked this accommodation Friday night for check-in Monday morning. At this point I’m just playing with fire and begging this city to make me sleep on the street. (I know this is recycled content from Twitter, please don’t roast me for it. I might have conjunctivitis, okay? Don’t kick a girl while she’s down.) 

Work is actually going well. I worked a 10-hour shift yesterday and it wasn’t even that painful? It was kind of fun? My coworkers are a cool mix of backpackers and real-life Aussies and everyone’s young and really nice. We have an all-day brekkie bar in the break room. How cute. How Aussie. There’s a fridge stocked with Chobani and a station with toppings like muesli, chia seeds, granola, etc. There are like 7 different types of bread (including gluten free!) and a variety of spreads for toast. I don’t want to put where I’m working on here because I don’t want them to find this and then fire me for being an unprofessional hack. But it’s a cool setup. And it’s in the tourism industry so I get to make smalltalk with Americans sometimes. Hopefully that’ll keep my accent in check. I’ve had people tell me I’m starting to sound vaguely British. Can you believe? Me, a traitor to my nation.

I had KFC for the first time ever a few days ago. I’ve literally never been to KFC in America. Is that unusual? How popular is KFC really in the US? I feel like I definitely wouldn’t consider it a top-tier fast food chain, but it has such an international presence. I took my popcorn chicken on a little walk to Darling Harbour because I can do things like that. Every day is a gift. Prayer hands emoji. 

I made a new Spotify playlist. It’s called “keen hey” because Aussies say keen a lot and also end sentences with hey. Like… I can’t even think of an example. Just think of literally any sentence you would say and then add hey at the end. You’re basically a local, hey. The playlist doesn’t have Australian songs or anything it’s just what I’m currently listening to while I walk these streets. Live this city life. Commute to work or to McDonalds. (Maccas, as the locals say.)

I learned Australians say tomato like tomotto. But they say potato the right way. Like have some consistency, guys? “I say tomato you say tomotto. I say potato you say pototto.” If you’re going to say tomotto, at least have the decency to also say pototto. 

I finally went to Manly Beach! On Sundays all public transportation is $2.70 or something crazy low. It was also the first proper hot day of the season, with temperatures in the low 90s. (Everyone I meet really lays into me personally for the whole Fahrenheit thing. And I get it, I totally get it. I can’t even make chit chat with the rest of the world about the weather. It’s annoying. But it’s also a little above my pay grade.) So, with the price and the heat, the beach was packed. I still don’t really like the beach, but I’m trying. The ocean is scary, the sun is hot, sand is gross, and sunbathing is boring after like one podcast. But there is something about knowing you’re on an iconic Australian beach that makes it better than pretty much any beach in the US. I bought a really tacky Australian flag beach towel. I know this seems really on-brand for me but I swear to god I tried to get a normal towel. All I could find was a hot pink Billabong one for $60 and it’s like… where do you get off charging $60 for an UGLY SWATH OF FABRIC? So I went for the Australian flag. 

I’ve been kind of sick for about a week. (This is separate from the possible conjunctivitis.) At first I was like, “This is so annoying why am I sick I don’t deserve this I’m going through a lot right now?” And then I was like, “Oh right. I’m going out every night, I’m not really sleeping, and I haven’t even looked at a vegetable since I got here. It makes total sense.”

Anyway, that’s all I guess. I’m just sitting in my dark hostel room thinking about my droopy eye. And how bad I need to find a flatshare. If my eye isn’t better by tomorrow I’ll have to actually sort out a doctor’s visit and that’s absolutely not how I want to spend my day off. One like equals one prayer that I don’t have conjunctivitis. I’m sorry I’ve said conjunctivitis so much even after I said I would stop. Reina Snophia is officially a conjunctivitis blog now. Tune in next week to see how the story of my left eye unfolds!