I wrote this post two days after I got back from Australia. And I’m finally posting it… two weeks later. Thank you, thank you, yes, I know, very on-brand. Whatever. Enjoy. Bon appetit!
What’s up, bitches. I’m back. And guess what? I’m not even sorry for abandoning the blog this time. I was living in the moment. The moment was living in me. Me and the moment were having a whole thing. My last few months in Australia really flew by, and not in a good way. I didn’t want to miss out on any opportunities for tender memories with my pals. I didn’t want to take time out of my day to write and reflect. I didn’t even want to sleep. And now it’s all over. Sad reacts only. RT if you cried. 😦
I’ve been home for like 48 hours and I’m jet lagged like a motherfucker. I made several decisions (mistakes) on my journey home that led to this misery, so I can’t even complain. It’s all on me. For starters, I got entirely too drunk the night before my flight. Didn’t really sleep. At all. (Worth it, though. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Boogie until the bitter end.) Didn’t eat breakfast. Didn’t brush my teeth. (Ashamed to admit that one. So gross.) Showed up to the airport still drunk. Transitioned to hungover on the plane. Passed out for approximately the first half of my 14-hour flight. Woke up and watched most of HBO’s Euphoria. Cried literal tears when I saw the sign for US Customs and Border Patrol. No, not tears of joy. Tears of like, “what the fuck am I doing here? I don’t want to be here. I shouldn’t be here. Why am I here?” Really positive headspace. Good vibes only. I kind of blacked out for my remaining two flights, if I’m being honest. I staggered around some airports and then passed out from takeoff to touchdown. And then I was home. And just like that, the entire last year felt like it never happened. Like it was all just some intense fever dream. Looking at all my photos doesn’t make it feel real. Even my tacky Australian t-shirt collection doesn’t make it feel real. For some reason, my only tangible connection to all those memories is Halloumi, my stuffed wombat from the Melbourne Zoo. I stare deeply into his eyes and I’m like, “It all happened. Obviously. You didn’t imagine a full year of your lief. Wombats are fuckin’ sick, by the way.” So yeah, that’s super weird and indicative of how unstable I am.
Here are some random thoughts I’ve had since being back:
- Pennies are stupid. I never really had a horse in the penny race before, but now I feel passionate about the destruction of pennies. They’re crusty and useless. American currency in general is disappointing. Who decided the color and material? Drab. Boring. Bland. I know they say most paper forms of currency in the world are covered in drugs and other disappointing substances… but American bills just look like they have a drug problem. So tattered and haggard. Aussie money, on the other hand, is so vibrant and cute. Different colors for different notes? Inspired. Different sizes for different notes? Groundbreaking.
- In Australia, tax is included in the prices listed in stores. Everything is neat. What you see is what you pay. Mostly it’s all convenient and round numbers. I forgot how gross and disappointing it is to get to the register and have to add on tax. I guess the Aussie way wouldn’t be feasible in the US because sales tax varies by state? Still crusty, though. Crusty money. Crusty tax. Crusty, crusty, crusty.
- I keep walking on the left. Standing on the left side of escalators. Causing absolute chaos in the American world.
- I haven’t slept alone in a room for an entire year. Even when I wasn’t in hostels, I had a roommate. It feels super weird to have privacy. To not use headphones when watching Netflix? To not share a bathroom with at least five other people? Weird.
- Pineapple Express, This is the End, and Shrek aren’t on American Netflix?? Tragedy. I can’t think of a week I didn’t watch those films in Melbourne. How am I supposed to wallow in nostalgia without them?
- I’m surrounded by American accents and it sucks. No offense but also full offense it’s painful. I’m not saying I love Aussie accents or British accents or Irish accents or various European accents… sometimes they suck too. But there was always a fun variety! And now there is no variety! Just American! And after a full year of all my friends complaining about my accent… I am acutely aware of how harsh (and loud) American accents are.
I know it’s only been two days, but I miss a lot of things about Australia. I miss all my homies, from Sydney to Melbourne and everywhere in between. I miss the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I miss the gruesome summer I spent in my flat in Randwick without aircon. I miss my overpriced yet mediocre hostel in Melbs. I miss the TV room with all the gross beanbags covered in questionable stains. I miss the same three shitty bars we went to every week. I miss the St Kilda crackheads. I miss $5 Dominos pizzas. I miss making $27 an hour but somehow still being skint. I miss living in cities with convenient public transit systems. I think I even miss drinking goon? I miss feeling a little anonymous and a lot adventurous.
The only thing getting me through being back in Texas is knowing that it’s temporary. In a few months, I’ll (hopefully) be off to Southeast Asia with my dear friend British Katie. Fingers crossed. God willing. Anything to put off real life for as long as possible! I still can’t picture myself at a desk job! Or any job! That’s an issue for after Asia! Ha! Running away from my problems!
In the meantime, though, there is money to made. And my liver will probably thank me for a few months off the drink. And I still have to write about literally half of my year in Oz. You guys missed so much you don’t even know. I can’t wait to relive it with you!! Let’s cling to the past!!
reina snophia 