A NEW POST?? ON MY BLOG?? (IT’S MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK)

• Australians call cheddar cheese… wait for it…tasty cheese. Doesn’t that sound heinous? It sounds worse than a Kraft Single I can’t deal. 

• I went to the Scenic World in the Blue Mountains with my Canadian roommate. Her name is Sarah and in the future when I say Sarah, just know I’m talking about my Canadian roommate. I’m tired of typing out Canadian roommate. She gets really mad when people say that Canada is basically America. We spend a lot of time together since we work and live together and we’re somehow not sick of each other yet. Anyway, I highly recommend visiting the Blue Mountains if you’re in Sydney and have the time. It’s a 2-hour train ride so most people spend a whole-ass day there or camp for a weekend. Personally I would prefer not to spend the night with all the creepies and the crawlies and the critters that lurk in the bush and can kill you. But to each his own I suppose. Scenic World is really only worth the $40 admission if you have kids or oldies who can’t hike and/or walk around all day. Sarah and I got free passes because the same company owns our place of employment, but I definitely would’ve been a little like “??? I could’ve just gone for some hikes instead” if I had paid.
• I’m still addicted to the boogie. And if the boogie is cheeky??? Game over. There’s nothing I love more than a cheeky boogie with my mates.
• I booked my east coast trip a few weeks ago. It’s basically like the backpacker pilgrimage in Oz. I was going to do it alone and kind of wing it, but then I met Sarah. And she had a nice itinerary planned out for around the same time when her friend from home came to visit. So we collectively decided that I should just join their trip. (Read: I invited myself and never looked back.) Starting April 7th with an overnight bus to Byron Bay, we’ll work our way up to Cairns before flying back to Sydney for May 9. The whole thing cost around $2,500, and that includes all of our accommodation, all of our excursion-type things (some meals included), and a skydive (!!!). So pretty much all we’re going to have to pay for on the way is some food, drink, and, of course, tacky souvenirs. It felt weird and wrong to spend that much money at once, but it’s gonna be an insane month. I am worried about any and all boat adventures, though. In 2017, my friends and I booked a boat party in Ibiza. Fun and flirty, right?? Wrong. It turns out I get seasick. I spent the entire “party” crumpled up in the cabin surrounded by drunk British men asking if they could borrow my friend’s tanning oil. So I’m a little scarred, a little traumatized by boat party events. And we’ve got one of those planned. I also still have never been in the ocean here. And there are apparently sharks up in areas that normally aren’t shark waters. So really just stay tuned because I’m sure I’ll have a lot of feelings and a lot to say during the month of April.
• Okay I’m gonna get a little soft and cheesy for a minute so please excuse my brie moment. I might even get mushy enough to be a warm and melty camambert. (Sorry- that was just as gross to write as I’m sure it was to read.) I have no idea what I thought this year would hold or what “traveling alone” would feel like. But I’m the opposite of alone and I’m living a life here I never imagined I could. I’ve met so many people that I actually love? It’s crazy like I think I was so worried about getting here, my brain didn’t have time or space to think about what would happen once I was here. But I have the cutest little work family, friends to travel the world with, friends to travel the world to see. BASICALLY, IN SUMMATION, TO SUM THINGS UP, TO SUMMARIZE, AT THE END OF THE DAY, ESSENTIALLY, AT THE ROOT OF IT ALL, MORAL OF THE STORY… I’m glad I did this (am doing this) even though I was really scared. :’) 
• I moved again!! Sarah is still my roommate- don’t worry. We lived in that shitty little crack den-esque house in Randwick for a few months, but, as with all good things, the lease came to an end. One of our friends from work had an empty room in his house in Ashfield going, so we’re occupying that for 3 weeks until we leave for the east coast. And the best part is…. it’s unfurnished!! Excellent and ideal and makes perfect sense for two backpackers with barely enough underwear to last between washes. I bought a $12 Kmart air mattress to sleep on. The height of luxury. It’s kind of neat actually because when air mattresses start to lose air they get all wavy-gravy and feel a little bit like a waterbed and it brings me back to the early 2000s when everyone wanted a waterbed. Do people still want waterbeds? What happened to waterbeds? Were they chic or creepy? What’s their place in history? Anyway, I think my first night on the air mattress went well. I was comfortable enough to oversleep so that’s a good sign. 
• I went to an Arctic Monkeys concert!! It was definitely more wild than the Arctic Monkeys concerts I’ve been to in the states. Much less concern for personal space. I went alone (because I bought my ticket in September and it sold out) (not because I had no one to go with) (thank you very much) and I was actually able to make some friends there. Shocking, I know. Anyway, it was fun. 
• I also went to a Hippo Campus concert!! I made one of my Aussie friends come with me so I wasn’t alone for this one. It was also very fun. 
• Mardi Gras happened!! Mardi Gras in Sydney is kind of like pride for most of the rest of the world? It’s an LGBTQ affair with a huge parade and expensive entry fees at all the gay bars and clubs. Mostly we just used it as an excuse to start drinking at 4pm.
• British and Australian people don’t say period. They say full-stop. Like… for the punctuation. This was a shocking revelation. 

Ok so the thing is I wrote all of that a few weeks ago… so here’s another listicle of updates. I’m basically Buzzfeed now.

• My air mattress sprung a leak about a week ago so I had to get a new one. Kmart had dropped the price to $8 when I went to replace it, so I can’t really complain.
• It’s my last day of work today and I’m all in my feels about it. I’ve spent the last 5 months working at BridgeClimb, if you haven’t pieced that together by now… It’s been all over social media so if you didn’t know I have no choice but to assume that you’re a fake fan and you don’t follow me on Instagram, Twitter, OR Snapchat. And that’d be a damn shame. Anyway, I ate most of my meals for free from the brekkie bar, most of my shifts started after 10am, AND I got to climb the bridge twice for free?? Your low-skill part-time job could never. 
• I’ve been really into the NYT crossword puzzle app recently. I can only do the Monday puzzles and even then I cheat a lot but at least I’m trying to keep my pea brain a little active. I bought a physical book from a physical bookstore a month ago. Lolita. A classic I’ve wanted to read for literal years. I was feeling optimistic and energized about improving myself but it turns out I’m just kind of illiterate now. Every time I try to read more than 5 pages I fall asleep. I’ll keep you guys posted on my journey to literacy.
• I earnestly, honestly, actually, sincerely will try to post more. It warms my heart when people tell me I need to post updates. :’) Now that I’m about to travel I should have fresh content. But also I’ll mostly be alternating between drunk, hungover, and that hellish combination of the two. So yeah get excited!!

BULLET 1 First of all, before we get started, I just have to preface this update real quick: I’m typing this in my gmail drafts on my phone and can’t figure out how to add bullet points so just use your imagination.

BULLET 2 I made such a big deal about my last day at BridgeClimb. It was all over social media and I told literally everyone there. I didn’t even know everyone I told I just went out of my way to make it known. Everyone in retail was so sick of hearing me talk about doing things for the last time. Stocking up waters in the cafe for the last time. Selling a USB with up to 10 photos, and some bonus complementary scenic shots, on it for the last time. Asking someone who was clearly American if they were American so we could talk about what I, an American, was doing in Australia because I’m a self-centered little snake…. for the last time. We had a nice little pub crawl and a cheeky boogie for me and my British friend who was also leaving. We had too many happy hour margs at El Camino. We had heartfelt moments. We did the whole “it’s not goodbye, it’s see you later :’)” thing because I will quite literally be back in Sydney in a month. And then… get this… the next morning they needed me to come in because two people called in sick. I obliged, because I am a good person with a good heart and also (mostly) money. I was equally as dramatic on my second last day. I was also very hungover and that felt like the right way to leave the company. I read a Buzzfeed article about random hangover cures earlier and I just have to say, if you swear by a hangover cure that requires doing something every night before you go to bed like making a specific meal or complicated drink… I don’t trust your hangover cure because you’ve clearly never been drunk enough for a bad hangover. After a night out do you think I’m gonna come home and make a sandwich with cucumber, mayonnaise, salt, and pepper?? Absolutely not. I’m probably already full/sick from my late night kebab/maccas. And I shouldn’t be anywhere near a kitchen. Everything in there is a safety hazard. ANYWAY, the main takeaway from this bullet is that I’m finally and officially unemployed for the foreseeable future.

BULLET 3 Daylight savings has me really fucked up. It started in some places in the world and ended in others? Ended in Australia? If it’s getting darker early that means it ended? Or started? I don’t KNOW. But it changed all the time differences I had in my head. Parents in Texas, friends in the Northeast, sister in England…. sorry but I have no idea what our time differences are now or what that means for your day. Not that it really matters, I guess. Still haven’t talked to my parents. 

BULLET 4 I was sick for like two weeks and I was JUST getting better and then I went out for those damn going away drinks. And now I’m sick again. I’m sure my fellow overnight passengers love the sound of my hollow cough filling our enclosed shared space. It’s been one day of having a constant tickle in my throat, and quite frankly, I’m a little over it, if I’m being honest.

BULLET 5 This is kind of random and old news but I think I mentioned I was stressed about eventually having to figure out how to get birth control on this godforsaken continent? I just want to let everyone know I figured it out. It was an exhausting day of doing adult shit like going to the bank, seeing a doctor, doing laundry. I had to pay $80 to see a doctor. But I should get some of that back once I file a claim with my insurance company? Fuck wait that reminds me I haven’t filed the claim yet. You win some, you lose some. Take the ups with the downs. I was so close to being impressively responsible. Anyway, I paid $80 to see this guy for literally five minutes. I walked in and he said “What’s up?” and I said “I need more birth control. Here’s the kind” and he said “How long have you been on it?” and I said “Few years” and he said “Great here you go! This has three refills and you can use it throughout all of Australia” and I said “Thanks goodbye!” And that was that. And then I had to go pay $70 for three months of pills at Discount Chemist. And I won’t get any of that back from my insurance company. 

BULLET 6 I drunkenly bought tickets to see LANY in Melbourne in July. Like I stood on the street while all my friends walked into a bar so I could finish buying these tickets. Weird move but I’m not mad about it. There are worse things you could drunk-buy. So basically if anyone has any questions about my future plans… that’s the only actual solid thing I have figured out after May 4th. I don’t even have a flight back to Sydney from Cairns booked yet. Should probably figure that one out. 

Alright I swear I’m done now. Turns out… when you don’t post… things and thoughts accumulate. 🙂 Hope you enjoyed this literal memoir see ya in another three months!! Cheers! To you and yours! And of course to you and yours as well. To everyone and everyone’s, really. You know what? To me and mine also. Cheers.